- Kate Louise Overnight
ONLINE DATING FOR GEEZERS
Updated: Mar 31
Ok, so this author (Kate) got lonely. It was Covid time . January, 2020. So thoughts of visiting bars entered my mind, as well as hardware and grocery stores; the usual places where you can find wandering lonely fellows looking for a conversation about the guac or the best type of hinge for a wood door, or which piece of fish looks less toxic.
But, instead, I sat at home, called all my girlfriends and family to discuss our lives under quarantine. After that I read a bit, wrote a bit, worked on some legal research and then sat in front of my computer, and pushed the Silver Singles "Join" tab. Pushing 70, I entered the online companion world looking for a diversion from what I just wrote about my daily activities.
Every day or night, when I visited the site, I found lots of guys that either smiled back at me through an email, sending " I like your profile" message, which I could return a reply. It was fun window shopping. Then from a list of 20 men sent everyday (which they send randomly without regard to my profile), I saw one fellow(George), who didn't look at the camera, but down at a machine he was holding. Of course, my curiosity was peaked about the machine and I liked that he didn't look straight at the camera. Like he didn't care if you liked him, his machine was more important to him. Playing hard to get. Loved it!! I sent him a smile. After one month of emails, texts, torrid love letters (including Song of Solomon) and tolerance (he's an engineer-forgive the pun) of being 1000 miles apart, we delved into our personal lives and learned more about each other; more than a couple knows being married 20 plus years, or so we told ourselves.
The phone sex and sexting became artistic and we spoke of writing a sex manual to use during a Pandemic. Still might. Point being, we made up our minds that nothing short of braving a virus would keep us apart; not even our kids, who thought we were too old anyway to play hanky panky. The grand-girls, however, thought it was cool and asked how they could get a date online. Its seems that most of their attempts were disappointing as the guys just wanted benefits, not intellectual stimulation.
How could I tell them I was into sexting and erotic letters.
As a role model for those younger than I, setting up a meeting with "George" was to be Covid responsible. Both to wear masks. No kissing. Social distancing. For two weeks, prior to any physical contact, we took high doses of Vitamin C, exercised and bought new underware and negligees.I flew to his state, as I had family there and if it didn't work out I would go visit cousin Linda. The first visual was tense. We really didn't know what or how to react to our actual physical presences. It had been Face-time and Zoom for two months. We stayed strong and cautious for about 18 hours. :)) Then-then- we had PANDEMIC SEX!! Both of us smoked when it was over (kidding).
Both researchers, we spent some time wandering through online sex documents to determine if we had just exposed ourselves to Covid or if we were careless or just too old to care. We knew we would never have sex with others after our bonding ( basic paranoia), but we still were curious enough to wonder if we needed to quarantine ourselves for two weeks.
Several sites caught our attention:
The first site warned that there have not been a lot of corona virus sex studies. It stated that the virus is contracted via respiratory droplets, which, of course, are abundant, if you are good at it. I mean during kissing and hugging and etc. They suggested "no kissing", wear a mask for the kissing part. Even though there is no genital fluid transmission (UCLA study) there wasn't much research done in that area then. So, we were on your own to reason it out.
They also didn't recommend a "sex buddy" during the pandemic, but recommended that you get "Handsy" and please yourself. And warned the readers to rinse off your sex toys!!!!
It is preferable to continue use of emailing and sexting unless you feel healthy and have no virus symptoms.
So far there is no evidence that sperm or vaginal fluids carry the virus. If tense, "handsies" saves the day, as it is an exercise, which is great for immune system, along with a great diet. Go to Dr. William Li's 10 foods for Covid Care, i.e. pomegranate juice, and blueberries.
The semen stuff had me a bit concerned, though, as Dr. Amesh Adalja (Johns Hopkins Infectious Diseases) informed that 27 infectious diseases can be carried by sperm, including Ebola, Zika, Epstein Barr, chicken pox. However, the immune system sees these viruses as foreign bodies and attacks them before they leave the body. But, the flu virus has been found in testicles. What?
Yikes! Obviously, more research needs to be done.
Handsy sex, anyone?
Nah, handsy sex is frowned upon in the Bible - it is a sin to spill one's seed on the ground.
It is also an affront to the Holy Spirit. We were meant to please each other- Covid-19 be damned. So stay within the bounds of scripture, and DO NOT spill one's seed on the ground: maybe Bill Clinton was dead on. (this is George speaking)
Kate wonders:" If you plant it, will it grow into Basil or Sesame Seeds?"